Paint Me a Picture with Images Blurred

So I saw "Definately, Maybe" at the Dollar Theatre here in town. In case you haven't seen the film I'll give a brief summary. Essentially you follow the significant dating adventures of one man as he dictates the story to his daughter. He's currently a single dad (he's in the middle of divorcing his wife) and his daughter wants to know how he met her mom and seeks to gain a better understanding of how they could now be divorcing. He tells her "it's complicated" but she insists it can't be as bad as he asserts. You ride along with the highs and lows of the single dad who loves and is loved, but rarely do both occur together. Towards the end his daughter admits, "wow, it is complicated..." as she then rattles off the vines of love that had her father swinging like a monkey through the jungle of romance. Now I'm not trying to write a movie review but this film sparked my thoughts recently about life.
Today I was on facebook and read a message from an old friend who's struggling with her current job and the devastation it's having on herself and her marriage. My life hasn't been a piece of cake, but as I read her dilema I couldn't help but think of how even when we know what the problem is and what needs to be done to change things that doesn't mean the actual doing of those things is any easier nor are they clean-cut and without side effects. Each choice we make so often has much further reaching consequences than we can currently see or admit. What seems to a little child to be so black and white, so easily discernable appears less clear, more muddled, and so much more complicated the greater knowledge and experience we have.
And yet, there is hope. I am sure the Spirit of God spoke through me as I typed my reply. My friend had said that she was deep in the valley. I responded, "Stay strong and know that if there is a valley then their must be a mountain top and you just have to patiently climb to get there." Wow! What a thought! The good news here is that when what we see is a picture with blurred images, a valley with no end in sight, or a dilema without an easy way out we must remember, that God has a much clearer perspective. The Lord Himself is my guide and all my hope rests in Him.
The Lord promises, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you... For I am the Lord your God... you are precious in my sight... and I love you." (Isaiah 43:2-4)
So do not be afraid, because David says, "even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me, Your rod and Your staff they comfort me." (Psalm 23:4)
Our call to follow Yahweh has always been one of day by day, minute by minute steps. Faithfully and patiently walking, crawling, or even climbing we must continue to move forward in all situations. When in the valley don't lose heart. When on the mountain top don't lose sight of following the Lord as He guides us to ever increasing glory.

My Motivation

It was during the summer after my freshman year at Oklahoma Christian University that I discovered a certain lack of motivation within myself. I was working that summer for Vector Marketing selling Cutco knives through appointments in people's homes. At first I was a hard worker, doing everything I could to perform well. (Okay maybe not EVERYthing). But for the most part I was striving to succeed. So much so that I was promoted to "assistant manager". Unfortunately it was about that same time that my motivation to do this job absolutely plummeted. I just didn't care anymore. It was hard to make phone calls, I didn't to drive to people's homes, and I let every little thing that wasn't perfect stack up as reasons to stop trying.
Let's step back now. Throughout middle school and high school I was addicted to Youth Group. I was the kid that would do anything and everything that the Youth Minister put on the calendar. Baseball game the same weekend as a retreat? Sorry team. Date the same night as a devo? Okay so I didn't really have any dates. I remember being so jealous of my sister when I was in middle school because she got to do all these "high-school only" events. "Why can't I go, Mom?" "Because, son, you're not old enough."
Jump back to Vector. I found myself that summer wish I could do all the youth group stuff again. There was a social side to my job. I received recognition for my accomplishments. Not to mention the money. I didn't care. There wasn't anything spiritual about it. No great worship. No deep conversations. No conviction of my heart. "Who cares if these people have good knives or not? Do they know Jesus?" I thought to myself. At this time I was already a Youth Ministry major. I had already felt a calling to make my living by serving the church, Christ's bride. But that summer the truth was revealed to me that it wasn't just a choice between several things I could do. It was the ONLY thing I could do! My heart wouldn't let me do anything else. Nothing else motivated me. So there you have it. That's why I do what I do. I can't do anything else.