Nothin' Special

So, I know it's been a while since I've put anything on here. Some of that is because life has been full and kept me with lots to do. However, I must admit I haven't updated here in a while because I set for myself a precident and a perceived expectation that each of these posts must in some way be artistic or thought provoking. I felt as though a simple sharing of what's happening in my walk with the Lord wasn't good enough. But as has been the case most often in my life there comes a time when I need written expression even when the creative juices are lacking. So if you care to know what's been happening and is currently going on with me on a spiritual note please feel free to read on.

Let me begin with Anna. Anna is my girlfriend and has been for some time now. She has shown me beauty, talent, love, expression, joy, comfort and strength. As many of you know I function best when I have people in my life that I can show love to. That doesn't necessitate a romantic relationship but I've been blessed to currently have that in my life. Promising to be there for someone in a close relationship and walking through a relationship with someone like Anna allows for a unique practice of Christ's love that I otherwise would be without.

Now what about me. Well, I'm still working as the Youth Minister for the Central church of Christ in Topeka, KS. I've loved my time here and the church family continues to become MY church family. As with anything there are ups and downs. With every victory comes an attack from Satan. One of the things I'm struggling with in my ministry is communicating that the Lord desires us wholistically. Not just all of us some of the time or some of us all of the time, but all of us all of the time and the way that plays out in our daily even momentary decisions and lives. In this battle I fight against the whole of culture, school, family patterns, twitter, facebook, etc! It can often be overwhelming and yet I press on because I know the importance.

So this has become a focus in my own ministry but really stems from my own life and walk with the Lord. If I am to communicate to the kids how they can fully live for the Lord and give Him all they have I must first be able to answer the question. So how do I, Twig, a child of God, a minister, a boyfriend, a mentor, a guy who lives by himself give my all and live wholistically for the Lord? Got any answers? Cause I'm struggling. I'm searching. I'm seeking the heart and will of God. One thing I know is that what I've been doing isn't good enough. There's the surface stuff like not enough prayer and bible reading. But what really concerns me is the deeper, greater stuff. Let me just say this. I DON'T KNOW ANY POOR PEOPLE. Well, that's not entirely true depending on what your definition of poor is. One thing I love about my church is that because of our location we do have several families who are not middle class. Nor are they upper class. They live in places most of us have never stayed and don't have the stuff most of us are so accustom to. But I don't visit them. I help them get food from the pantry when they need it and I arrange for those with teens to get rides and scholarships to activities. But that's not what Christ called me to. Or at least as I'm reading both the Bible and books recommended to me by those who know me well I'm seeing a greater expectation that I have not really reached.

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy."

I've been teaching are High School on the Beatitudes and my study on this particular one has been a huge log in the fire that rages inside my soul. The following is some of what I found.

The Greek word used in Matthew 5:7, eleemon, means essentially the same as its English counterpart, "merciful." However, in all likelihood Jesus spoke in Aramaic, and the idea behind His statement about mercy comes from Old Testament—that is, Hebrew—usage and teaching. The word He would have used is the Hebrew and Aramaic chesed.

William Barclay's Daily Study Bible commentary on Matthew states regarding this word:
"It does not mean only to sympathize with a person in the popular sense of the term; it does not mean simply to feel sorry for some in trouble. Chesedh [sic], mercy, means the ability to get right inside the other person's skin until we can see things with his eyes, think things with his mind, and feel things with his feelings.Clearly this is much more than an emotional wave of pity; clearly this demands a quite deliberate effort of the mind and of the will. It denotes a sympathy, which is not given, as it were, from outside, but which comes from a deliberate identification with the other person, until we see things as he sees them, and feels things as he feels them. This is sympathy in the literal sense of the word. Sympathy is derived from two Greek words, syn which means together with, and paschein which means to experience or to suffer. Sympathy means experiencing things together with the other person, literally going through what he is going through." (p. 103)

And that leaves me here. Not knowing where to start, what to even do, or if there is something more I should be doing. I hope to update this again sooner than later and I have more to share with you. If you want some prep on the discussion read Acts 2 taking special note of verses 42-47.

Paint Me a Picture with Images Blurred

So I saw "Definately, Maybe" at the Dollar Theatre here in town. In case you haven't seen the film I'll give a brief summary. Essentially you follow the significant dating adventures of one man as he dictates the story to his daughter. He's currently a single dad (he's in the middle of divorcing his wife) and his daughter wants to know how he met her mom and seeks to gain a better understanding of how they could now be divorcing. He tells her "it's complicated" but she insists it can't be as bad as he asserts. You ride along with the highs and lows of the single dad who loves and is loved, but rarely do both occur together. Towards the end his daughter admits, "wow, it is complicated..." as she then rattles off the vines of love that had her father swinging like a monkey through the jungle of romance. Now I'm not trying to write a movie review but this film sparked my thoughts recently about life.
Today I was on facebook and read a message from an old friend who's struggling with her current job and the devastation it's having on herself and her marriage. My life hasn't been a piece of cake, but as I read her dilema I couldn't help but think of how even when we know what the problem is and what needs to be done to change things that doesn't mean the actual doing of those things is any easier nor are they clean-cut and without side effects. Each choice we make so often has much further reaching consequences than we can currently see or admit. What seems to a little child to be so black and white, so easily discernable appears less clear, more muddled, and so much more complicated the greater knowledge and experience we have.
And yet, there is hope. I am sure the Spirit of God spoke through me as I typed my reply. My friend had said that she was deep in the valley. I responded, "Stay strong and know that if there is a valley then their must be a mountain top and you just have to patiently climb to get there." Wow! What a thought! The good news here is that when what we see is a picture with blurred images, a valley with no end in sight, or a dilema without an easy way out we must remember, that God has a much clearer perspective. The Lord Himself is my guide and all my hope rests in Him.
The Lord promises, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you... For I am the Lord your God... you are precious in my sight... and I love you." (Isaiah 43:2-4)
So do not be afraid, because David says, "even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me, Your rod and Your staff they comfort me." (Psalm 23:4)
Our call to follow Yahweh has always been one of day by day, minute by minute steps. Faithfully and patiently walking, crawling, or even climbing we must continue to move forward in all situations. When in the valley don't lose heart. When on the mountain top don't lose sight of following the Lord as He guides us to ever increasing glory.